I was just about finished with my pedicure and anticipating a mid-morning nap when I saw Holly and Judy pull into the stable's parking lot. Why, I wondered, has my Mom called for reinforcements? What will be the next horror/task she wants me overcome/accomplish? Click/treat, click/treat, click/treat....ho, hum.
After the mandatory few minutes of "admire the horse", I find myself being led down to the arena by three women wearing fanny packs. Not so shabby, so far. There is also no trailer in sight, so I'm starting to anticipate playing the game. Once we are in the arena, I am un-haltered with the expectation that I will kick my heels up and roll. What? Do you think I'm nuts? Remember I said THREE fanny packs!! Where's my clicker when I need it? Finally, my three admirers un-veil their reason for gathering for this meeting. I'm getting my sheath cleaned.
I have only had this done to me once in the last two years and I was sedated at the time (I also had my teeth floated, lovely procedure), so my memory is a bit foggy. Anyway, here I am, minding my own business, and here comes Judy with a small riding crop. No one hits me with anything, so I'm not scared, just curious. She proceeds to rub the crop all over me to make sure I know what it is.
I'm dealing with that just fine when all of a sudden.........she's touching my sheath! Now that's a sensitive area, so I'm keeping an eye on this girl, big time! After she does it a while, I'm settling back in my comfort zone when WHAMMY, where are her fingers? Also, much to my embarrassment, she's pulling something she calls "Smegma" out of there and showing it to Mom and Holly. My humiliation is complete.
I resign myself to this with the help of the clicker and my treats. It never amazes me what goofy things these ladies want me to do. Pretty soon I am so relaxed that I start to realize that this feels GOOD! Out goes my neck. My lips quiver and my eye lids are at half-mast. Don't stop! I barely notice Holly snapping pictures. I think I will be needing daily sheath cleanings. It's great to be a man!
It's hard to believe that I'm 11 years old and this is the first time
ANYONE has tried to touch me (at least while I've been unsedated)
"you know where".
I sure am glad Judy decided to "desensitize" me
with that riding crop. No telling what I might do!!
I'm keeping an ear on her, but this isn't so bad.
OK, she's getting a little personal now.
Yikes!! That feels funny!
OK, I can get used to that.
Where did her hand go?
A little higher, please!
Checking for the Bean (different horse)
A fair sized bean;
some are smaller, some are larger.
A good use for that single sock with no match:
Have you tried putting an old sock over your hand while cleaning? It "grabs" a lot more than your latex gloved hand can.